ligaw na bata

Sleep.Did this on an expired SAI. So I didnt get to save any of...

sheetydays — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 05:00:43 -0400

Sleep.

Did this on an expired SAI. So I didnt get to save any of it. Only got a print screen of it. :”< sad.

thereisnounclaimedurl: “Outsmart anyone you can’t beat, and...

sheetydays — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 15:00:45 -0400

thereisnounclaimedurl:

“Outsmart anyone you can’t beat, and beat anyone you can’t outsmart.”

must remember,

nopecantthinkofaword: I did a thing I WANT THISSSSSSS. LIKE...

sheetydays — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 14:55:01 -0400

nopecantthinkofaword:

I did a thing

I WANT THISSSSSSS. LIKE TOTALLYYYY.

Pagod.

sheetydays — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:10:47 -0400

Ang sakit ng mata ko ngayon. Nagka-rashes nanaman cheeks ko.. Laging gnun pag umiiyak ako.

Past few days, parang laging may something na hindi nag tturn out ng okay for me. Lagi ko naiisip mag lalabas ako ng sama ng loob or sakit or rant dito sa tumblr, pero the pain quickly stores itself within me para d ko na sya maramdaman. Pero since kahapon, nag ooverflow na yung storage. Kanina naramdaman ko talaga, that there’s this hole in me. It was empty. It was dark. It was painful. Kakastart pa lang ng araw ko, may nangyari kagad. How lucky can I get. I could never please people. Alam ko masama ako. I try not to be, pero somehow, I always turn out to be the bad one, kasi I am. Kahit ayoko. I didn’t want to see my friends kanina. Kasi I was afraid I might do something or say something. Nung ihahatid na ko ni mama to gateway, I just wanted to go back home, lock myself in my room and cry all day. Pero okay lang. That’s what I did when I got home. Di ko na kaya. Alam mo yung, gustong gusto mo iiyak lahat pero wala ng luha. Kasi pagod na rin siguro ako.. or matagal na siyang ubos. Pero atleast, for a brief moment, nakaiyak ako. Nailabas ko. Kasi di ko kaya sabihin. Di ko kaya iexpress sarili ko kasi alam ko lalala lang mga bagay. For the record, hindi lang naman siya sa friends. Pati sa family din. Love? Not so much. wala ako nun. I’m tired of feeling. Of worrying. Of thinking what I should and shouldn’t do. I’m tired of wishing na sana, I’d be someone they’ll remember. Someone they’ll thank. Someone worth their time. I know I shouldn’t expect. Kasi masasayang lang. I want to throw away everything. Burn everything. Kanina nga I was already imagining myself throwing things in my room. Para malabas ung nsa loob ko. Because I can’t be vocal about it.

Been making a lot of mistakes. I hate myself. I hate how greedy I am. How selfish I can be. I hate how I treat people. I don’t deserve their recognition. I’m an idiot. I hate myself for being me.

FCKIN FREELOADERS.

sheetydays — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 15:26:55 -0400

“Onting teamwork naman puta. Hinahayaan gumawa yung isa tapos ikaw gagawa ng iba. Humihingi ng onting tulong, wala. Nilalaktawan lang. puta. sige kayo mag edit lahat. punyeta. may specific work na inako, biglang namili ng iba n mas convenient. puta.”

I wanted to put this as my stat in FB but I was concerned that people might react to it. Well fck. I hate fcking freeloaders. puta.

Ewan.

sheetydays — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 11:41:08 -0500

Di ko na alam. Minsan nawawalan na lang ako ng gana. Ayoko na lang mag react. Napapagod na ko. Pagod na pagod na. Ka-sama naman ng loob to.

SONA

sheetydays — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 09:45:00 -0500

I WILL NEVER EAT CHOCOLATES. kidding. But, I won’t eat too much chocolates. As in ung 2 pcs a week. Nakakasakit. <//3

Last Thursday, ate some Ferrero, then at the evening, watched Jessica Sanchez Live in Araneta. Drank a large iced tea. Then boom! The next day, couldn’t go to school because my throat hurts! But I went to my 2nd class though at 4pm. I started having colds. Saturday, I had a soar throat, cough and colds. Sunday, I had cough and colds. Today, my cough got worse. And yes, still have colds. sniff :”<

TOO MUCH PHLEGMMMMM!!

Things I love.

sheetydays — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 09:55:43 -0500

1. Sky

2. Cats.

3. Galaxy inspired stuff

4. Smell of dawn

5. Bow and arrows

Bad.

sheetydays — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 05:04:39 -0500

Today started okay. I have been quiet, calm and “gentle”. And when dismissal from school came, I said something idiotic to friend1 during our commute home. I said a joke about how friend2 of ours (who was also in the train) doesn’t care if all the other dogs they own die instead of a certain dog who just died a few days ago(probably because this dog was closest to her..but anyway..) then I jokingly said that the dog of friend1 should be the one instead. Then friend1 looked at me and kept repeating “that was a bad joke. Really bad joke” Then I suddenly came back to my senses and realized how awful I was to her. Im such an idiot! This is the 2nd time ive crossed the line. I hate myself for it.
My birthday is next week I don’t feel like celebrating. I don’t want to celebrate cause I’m such a bad person. I don’t deserve it.

I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m so tactless. And rash and impulsive. I have nothing but flaws.

louisezhangportfolio: Indeedy, 2013, oil on canvas, 40 x...

sheetydays — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:07:00 -0500

louisezhangportfolio:

Indeedy, 2013, oil on canvas, 40 x 50cm

Saw this from the recommended posts panel »>
I though I saw a rabbit. D:

#Iwanttopaintmore

Everything feels so fckin distant.

sheetydays — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 05:58:00 -0500

WARNING: Rant ahead.

Today I feel so pissed at everything. If not pissed, uninterested or indifferent. -_-

1. Lately I’ve been getting the feeling that my closest friends don’t want to talk to me. Particularly this person whom I thought I could be open with. I thought the ice has melted but lately it doesn’t feel that way. It doesn’t feel im close with that person. I may be at fault in some things.. maybe that’s why they don’t feel like talking to me anymore. Pero sa ibang tao, normal siya. Sakin lang talaga siya ganun. :( Ayoko na lang ipagsiksikan sarili ko. :(

2. So, I’ve been playing LOL for quite a while and some of my kabarkadas have started playing too. For some reason, I feel they don’t want to play with me. Why? I dunno. Siguro baka dahil mas mataas na level ko or iba ung mindset ko sa laro kaya ayaw nila ko kalaro kasi baka natatakot silang may magawa silang di ko gusto or something? I feel so left out. Sige kayo na maglaro. Di ko na rin ipagpipilitan sarili ko sa inyo. Sorry kung ganto akong tao. Good luck na lang sa laro ko.

3. So, I told this certain person that I’ve been in a bad mood the whole day and instead of telling me to cool off, that person wants me to get angry at him. I asked that person “WHY?” And that person said, so that I could loosen up. HUH? A very weird reason. Adding another thing to be mad about will eventually help release this? My gawd. I’m not even mad in the first place! I just feel so down and pissed offffffff or ewan.

hay.

I’ve finally found something worth posting for. For the...

sheetydays — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 05:40:20 -0500

I’ve finally found something worth posting for. For the past few months, I’ve been reflecting too much. And I came up with a conclusion. I really have changed. And mostly, it wasn’t for the better. I know myself. I’ve been causing more harm than good to my family, my friends. I am that.. bad. It hurts me when I think of HOW I became like this.. and I don’t have an answer to that.

2 years ago, a friend of mine gave me this large notebook and I decided I’d write down things I hate about my self on the left page and things I like about myself on the right. It wasn’t long till I filled up the left side. I hate myself for being like this. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.

2 nights ago, 2 of my friends slept over. One of them was too much afraid of ghosts and darkness. And when I was going out of my room she pleaded not to leave her alone. And I rushed outside of my bedroom door and turned off the lights then pulled the door shut. She went out with that sick look on her face. Then a face of disgust and hate. I felt bad. Really bad. I’m sorry. I will forever carry that memory and will try to hold myself back. I’m not a good friend. I guess I never have been one.

I tease people to the extent of going below the belt because I feel it was funny and that the other person doesn’t seem to care. But, I know I’ve crossed the line. I just hate myself more and more.

I don’t feel like talking to anybody anymore. I can’t control my mouth. I want to return to my peaceful and calm self. I want me to stop. I want me to change again. For the better. But I just can’t. I’m tired of all the crap I’m giving to other people.

If I start listing again the good and the bad things about me, I think the good side would still be empty.

I just want to sleep all day. Forget everything. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to think. I don’t want to feel.

i hate myself everyday knowing ill never change.

Inertia

sheetydays — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 05:08:59 -0500

The title is totally irrelevant to this post. Wala kasi ako maisip na title kaya yan na lang. At malabo kasi akong tao. Napikon nanaman ako for some reason. Wala lang. Di ko gets bakit nakaka pikon ung tinutulungan mo na nga ung tao, tapos sasabihin sayo “wag na” bwisit. OKAYYYY edi hindi. Ewan ko. Nawalan na ko ng gana. Kairita. Oo sorry na, di na kita natulungan dun sa isang bagay, sinusubukan ko kasing tulungan ung iba. leche.

Meh.

sheetydays — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 07:50:00 -0500

So, looking for a place to accomplish my OJT is quite difficult. You have so many competitorssssssssssss. And it’s a 100% possibility that a lot of them are better than you. But that’s fine! What’s important is, somehow, I get to be accepted at some awesome or good (if not great) company for maximum learning potential. Lols. But anyway, I think the worst is over. Because the hardest thing to do when you have to do something, is the courage to even start it.

Let’s start a week ago. A week ago, I was sulking. I was feeling down. Reallyyy down that I didn’t have the guts to do anything OJT related. In my case, I haven’t started on anything! Not even my resume! And second to that, I didn’t even know what I want. What I’m good at. I kept on asking myself, what should I even apply for? Am i good enough? I’m scared to try. I might get rejected. Yep. That probably sums up my problem. i’m scared. Scared. It’s one thing that hinders me from what I must do. I’m scared of rejection. So I told my guy best friend regarding my shallow issue and how I’m terribly lost and lonely because of this OJT. Well, he told me a lot of things I was good at. I didn’t believe him much at first, well because, that’s usually the thing. You don’t see the good things about yourself with your own eyes. But other people do. Course, that cheered me up a bit, and I started to pick myself up from my dark hole and kept on chanting what my cousin’s best friend told me (who was also in the art industry stuff), wait, I actually asked what he did to reach where he is now, he said this “Lakas lang ng loob.” I didn’t quite get that. But I think I get it now. When you have the courage, to make a headstart; to take that first step, that’s the hardest thing you can ever do, because not everyone has the strength to do it. They just wait till their regrets haunt them.

By now, I have sent 7-8 emails/applications. 2 have replied (only the auto mail though. Saying they’ve seen my application and is still being processed or whatever) I hope I get accepted though. :[

(My garena application never had a reply. /sad)

Psychology Blog (Neurolove/psych-facts): How to Turn off Negative Thoughts

sheetydays — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 08:06:27 -0500

Psychology Blog (Neurolove/psych-facts): How to Turn off Negative Thoughts:

psych-facts:

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Notice when you are slipping into negative, absolutist ways of thinking where you think the worst of yourself, your life and your future.

2. Recognise that these are habitual ways of thinking. It’s what you always think when you start to feel bad.

3. Be aware…

Must keep this here. Will print this stuff in the future for reference.

psych-facts: Philophobia is the fear of emotional attachment...

sheetydays — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:59:54 -0500

psych-facts:

Philophobia is the fear of emotional attachment that often leads to expectations that end in disappointment.

So.. I have this shih tzu puppy that came in a few months ago. I became a bit responsible after I got her. I fed her, bathed her, bought her bed and stuff. I felt like a mother. The only thing I keep forgetting is that I should take her to a vet and have her take her vaccine shots. But I never have. There are days I’d play with her, pat her, and just look at her innocent, cutie face.. and suddenly, my mind goes negative again. “What if she dies?” I get scared with the fact of facing THAT fact.. That she’d die. And things won’t be the same again. I got scared with the thought of losing her. And a tiny part of my mind says “If I hadn’t been so attached with her, I wouldn’t have to feel this way.” but I have. And maybe I should take her to the vet asap. lol.

the-absolute-best-posts: mybuttisaurus: i-justreally-like-cats-o...

sheetydays — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:43:44 -0500

the-absolute-best-posts:

mybuttisaurus:

i-justreally-like-cats-okay:

Calming CAT!

oh my god it is calming

Via/Follow The Absolute Greatest Posts…ever.

I’m tired of being so confused. And paranoid. I’m tired of thinking. Thinking. Thinking. I just want to cry and break down now. I’m tired of caring about what people think. What they would say. What I’d think about what they said. It’s frustrating. I just wanna leave and clear my head. Forget everything. Forget everyone. Stress.
Found this calming cat. I hope it calms me down.

AHHHH. Trying PS out. Sai-user before so not quite familiar with...

sheetydays — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 12:40:21 -0500

AHHHH. Trying PS out. Sai-user before so not quite familiar with PS when it comes to rendering. A friend is guiding me though. Check out his gallery on DA! Click here!!
So after drafting Zyra with a concept reference, I checked the LOL splash art and wtf, it’s similar. It’s frustrating. Butttt its alright! I’ll just practice the rendering hihih. :3

areaofinterest: Michael Chase Recently, ive been getting this...

sheetydays — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 15:57:40 -0500

areaofinterest:

Michael Chase

Recently, ive been getting this weird feeling every time I see galaxy inspired stuff. Parang kinikilig ako. I don’t know why but it makes me feel goooooooooodd!! <3

This is too amusing. HAHA! Must reblog it here to easily keep...

sheetydays — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 01:00:11 -0500

This is too amusing. HAHA! Must reblog it here to easily keep track of it. too funny :))